Ep 5 - It's Tough Out There - A Blessing For The Worn-Out

Episode 5 - It's Tough Out There: A Blessing For The Worn-Out

[00:00:00] Hello friends. This is belonging in the south, a guide for misfits and I'm Rebecca Lauderdale. Your host. Today's going to be a little bit different than other episodes. I'm not doing as much production or polishing. And I had considered not publishing an episode this week. it's because I was feeling overwhelmed and honestly, having some trouble, hearing my own voice over the chaos that the outside world seems to be in. 

But. I've learned from past experience, that feeling of overwhelm is a sign. And it's telling me to step away to step back from social media. And to be more purposeful with whose voices I let into my head. So, what I ended up doing this weekend was watching some videos, particularly from one creator who stuff I had seen online and been meaning to dive into more because I was really inspired and intrigued and challenged by them. [00:01:00] 

And after I did that, I knew I had to record something for you today. So I'm here in my little makeshift studio in the back of my closet with my cup of warm tea and my candle and my microphone. 

And I'm just going to talk for a little bit. And share with you. What I hope will be. Encouragement for you this week. So the creator whose videos I watched is a person called Alok Vaid -Menon. I hope that I just said their last name correctly. I know I pronounced their first name. Alok, I know that's right, because they said it. 

Um, but they are on Instagram and have been on many podcasts and that's where I first heard them is on the. We are. Man enough podcast, which is. So good, by the way, if you haven't listened to that, everybody, [00:02:00] everybody should listen to that podcast. Um, but anyway, So. One of the things that they talked about. 

Um, as a. Gender non-conforming person. Was about belonging. In a way that particularly struck me. And this isn't necessarily a new idea, but the way that they presented it. I think it was so pertinent for right now. 

And a time when legislators are restricting liberties for people, just because they're different. And there is a great amount of. Hatred for trans people for LGBTQ people. And we can expand that out. 

Uh, for people of color. Um, women and women's rights. 

 And, Alok pointed out. The fact that the people who feel this deep, like. Dislike and [00:03:00] hatred and who want to pass these laws against groups of people who are not harming anyone. Have belonging. That is all tied to a common enemy. They have community because of who they hate and who they dislike and who they've excluded. 

And when you take away the people that they hate. 

Then they have nothing left. It's empty. There's nothing there. There's not even personality lift. Because. There. They're all focused on excluding on disappearing people. Um, on preventing people who are not like them. from living their lives. 

And. It made me think about different kinds of freedom. And how there there's freedom, which is, uh, so there's one kind of [00:04:00] freedom that's liberties. So it's, you know, privileges you're afforded by your society. Things that you can do without experiencing a consequences. Um, so you can, have a business and vote and. 

Earn money for your family. You can have a job, those sorts of things, or, owning land. And that's one kind of freedom. The other kind of freedom is. Inner freedom. You know, it's that freedom that Victor Frankl talks about. Being in the concentration camps. 

And still being able to decide how he would act. And who he would be regardless of the external circumstances. And then it made me think about. Lessons that I've learned myself. 

And how easily I used to judge other people. Because of their beliefs, the way they looked, the things that they [00:05:00] did that were not harming me or anyone. Um, but because deep down, and I didn't want to admit this for a very long time. Um, but because deep down it confronted me in a place where I didn't love myself. 

So like Bernay brown says. You're not going to care what somebody Else's but looks like in their genes, if you like, how yours looks. Right. Like. If you're okay with yours, you're okay. With theirs. It's just, doesn't confront you. 

But these violent attacks on people who were different. Are always just diversions. I mean, we can look at statistics and see. these people think that. They are churches. Right or where people are safe and that everybody should, you know, Believe, like they believe. And practice their religion. Like they do. 

 But we know that that churches are places where kids get groomed. [00:06:00] And sexually abused. Right. It's not drag shows. It's not trans people. 

But, but they can't even see it. They're too busy. Distracting themselves with shiny objects out there and those shiny objects are. People who are living. Free. 

They have the audacity to be who they truly are. Regardless of how different that might be. From most of us. And, you know, we all benefit from the presence in our society. Of people who are different and who are brave enough. To live that. In front of us. 

Because they help us see. Ways that we aren't living true to ourselves. But it's really hard to see that when you won't even look at yourself, 

 [00:07:00] So this week, let us not play into common enemy belonging. And instead play into common humanity, belonging. 

 Because for those of us who are different. Who love people who are different. And want them to be able to live free. It's easy for us to get into this common enemy belonging to. 

And it's bankrupt. 

So I love reading blessings. of all sorts. I think they're so fascinating and, um, encouraging. 

 And I want to read two of them for you before I go. So just quickly, I want to say thank you for listening this week. I'll be back next week with an interview with an amazing southerner. You're going to love it. Um, if you are interested in joining the Facebook group, there's a link in the show notes. 

So that you can join our group and get to know some other folks [00:08:00] like you. And not like you. And also, if you will write review subscribe, that makes a really big difference. If this podcast has been meaningful for you. It makes a big difference in getting it. In the ears of others and helping me to grow the show over time to continue to bring you good content and wonderful guests. 

So the blessings that I'm going to read to you are fairly short. Uh, a woman named Jan Richardson wrote them there in her book called in the sanctuary of women. And, um, they're beautiful. I've read these. As openings for meals. And, um, other gatherings with friends before. 

And you're my friends. And. I want to read these to you as an offer of encouragement and belonging. This week. 

So again from Jan [00:09:00] Richardson's in the sanctuary of women. 

Blessing. 

That we who need each other. We'll find one another. That we may follow the lines that will lead us to the kindred of our souls, that our tribe will grow and prosper and be a blessing. And that we may be the beauty in which we long to dwell. 

 And the next rating. 

That you will see others with the humility that has the power to save. That you will see yourself with the humility that has the power to save. That you will see. That seeing you will love. 

And with that much love to you all. And I will see you next week. 

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